Cheers and Beers

Captains Log, stardate *8*8*20*20* Destination: Lions Gate Portal.

“To Infinity and Beyond!” shouted Sulu from the helm of the USS Enterprise. Dr. McCoy, let out a frustrated sigh and leaned into the Captain’s ear, “Jim why do we have to go back there? It’s such a devastating time in the history of Planet Earth. Couldn’t we beam down somewhere between the 2020 Winter Solstice and the joyous beginnings of New Earth?”

“Bones, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. It’s Do or Die down there, all systems have been called in to assist. And yes, that means us in the future. We cannot ignore the pivotal timelines that have shifted. If they need us, we go.”

“There will be plenty of time for Cheers and Beers, upon your return!” beamed Scotty.

“Fortunately there is hope for humanity, if we make it in time,” stated a sedate Spock, “To destroy your home planet’s ecosystem for imaginary wealth is highly illogical,” he turned to McCoy, “Most of them are waking up to the fact they cannot allow darkness to rule any longer. The ones of the light have sent an S.O.S, I am afraid it is our duty to join the Galactic Federation and form a calvary.”

McCoy conceded to the majority and hoped for the best.

Lieutenant Uhura called from her position on the bridge, “Captain, I’ve translated the latest transmission. It is a song in the language of light, shall I sing it for you?”

“Go ahead Lieutenant, tell us what it means.”
Uhura played the original translation which was a very high frequency cry for help, it could easily be mistaken for Dolphin Song. She sang over it words the crew could understand.

Lieutenant Uhura

We the Gatekeepers of Gaia’s Garden
Bid you help us escape the dark shadow
of control, greed and power.
We the Starseeds are holding the light
and spreading our flame letters to
awaken the sleeping masses.
We the chosen are opening the Portal
to welcome you in, to allow your return
Together we shall overcome all evil
and return the balance of all that is good and pure and innocent.

“I truly feel for them,” wept Scotty, “Are we to land in Giza? Or do ya prefer not to hover the pyramids?”
“There will be too many Galactic ships coming in at once. Not to mention the Angelic realms..” Captain Kirk was interrupted.
“I see Unicorns and the Sidhe entering as well Captain!” Sulu was giddy.
“Yes,” Kirk took a look at the map, “Move in slowly we will try to land somewhere above the Sphinx. Coming in from the Milky Way Galaxy we shouldn’t have too much traffic. Unless the Sirians take an alternate route.”

Lions Gate Map

Lieutenant Uhura zoomed in, “Yes Captain I see the Sirians descending now, if we give them clearance we can follow through the portal just behind them.

Portal Traffic

“Ease through gently Sulu,” The Captain could not risk disturbing the Pyramid’s fragile aura at this time, “Scotty beam us down as soon as we clear the Sphinx!”

“Aye Captain.”

Part Two:

Sulu nodded to Scotty as he cleared the three Pyramids and the Sphinx. Scotty took the cue and beamed the crew down to join the others at the Lions Gate Portal. Suddenly as Sulu was easing carefully across the River Nile the Enterprise bounced off an invisible Ice shield and began spinning into hyper space.
Scotty looked out from the observation deck, “Bloody hell, it’s black as the Earl of Hell’s Waistcoat out there!”

Lieutenant Uhura panicked, “We’ve gone off course, we’re crossing timelines at an ungodly speed, we’ve lost Giza and the Lions Gate entirely!”

“Dear God! Where have I sent the Captain, Spock and McCoy?”
Sulu shuddered, “It looks as if they’ve been sucked through a worm hole and are headed for the mystical portal of a post apocalyptic Scotland!!”
“Scotland?” Scotty’s heart leapt, he hadn’t seen his homeland in centuries.
“Can we reach them?” Scotty was worried, this rarely happened. He would feel awful if the crew were lost due to his hastiness.

“I have a faint transmission,” Uhura announced, “I can plot a course to follow them, but they are on their own until we catch up. It may be light years! Or days, it just depends.”

Scotty hung his head, “What have I done?”

Meanwhile on the craggy slate side of a Scottish Mountain, our three gentlemen landed with a gentle tuck and roll fashion, ending up at the feet of an Angry Red Queen watering her tattered herb garden. She let out a startled scream, “What the…” turning her watering can to splash the captain in the face. “Who are you?”

The Captain wiped his wet eyes with his mustard colored shirt sleeve and replied with dignity, “I am Captain James T. Kirk, these are my colleagues, Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy.”

“Captain? Doctor? Just what kind of Pirates are you?” The Queen was confused.

“We were headed for the Lions Gate Portal 2020, we must have met with a malfunction.”
Captain Kirk was equally confused.

“The Lions Gate 2020? I’ve had news it was a huge success. The raise and spikes in frequency hit critical mass! They’ve reached the tipping point! All will be well, the timeline has been restored!” The Red Queen happily informed them.

The gentleman looked quite relieved, “Well good news indeed,” Spock addressed the Queen, “May I ask where we are now?”

“You have landed in my herb garden I am afraid,” The Queen dropped her watering can, “It’s just been ransacked by a herd of herbivores. So, I am afraid I cannot offer you any repast at this time, of course you are welcome to lodge here until the Autumnal Equinox, but after that date, I have business to attend to in another world.”

“Again, may we ask,” The Captain continued, “ What world is this?”

“You have entered Post Apocalyptic Scotland, circa 2020,” A sleepy Robert Plant bellowed from the other side of the Garden.
“But I thought the intervention at the Lions Gate was meant to stop the apocalypse?” Kirk was confused again.

“Indeed it did,” Robert continued, “We are just hanging about in a mystical portal. Suspended if you will in the time beyond before. We come here often. I take it this is your first time?”

“Yes, it is,” Dr. McCoy answered, “Would you happen to know the way out, or back to the reclaimed timeline?”

“He knows alright,” The Red Queen smiled, “but he may not want to tell you.”

“I’m afraid I drank some funny tea and my mind’s gone a little warped, I would hate to give you the wrong directions.” Robert scratched his head and then noticed, “Dolly! What are you doing here?”

“Who me?” blushed the sheep.

“Yes EWE!!” Robert blasted.

WHO ME??

If you have not read the adventures of the Red Queen, Robert Plant and gang, my apologies those tales are scattered across Blogophilian time and space, mostly in my past and David Schrader’s offerings. Very hard to link at this time. 🙂

Story told by closet Trekkie, Christine Wichman c.August 9, 2020

Photos taken from Pinterest