Zelda’s Night

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Zelda Zephyr lived in a Zoo where Zoroastrianism ruled,

she had two favorite Giraffes, Lenny and Stu.

One day her Giraffes came to her window to check on her plight,

it seems she had been gone most of the night.

“Helllooo? Zelda??” called Lenny and Stu, “Where are you?”

Lenny and Stu

Groggy and foggy Zelda’s mind was at a loss, “Where was I?” she hardly knew.

“Oh my God, I’m only wearing one red shoe!!”

“Looks like she’s gone on a bender again.” Lenny shrugged

“I’m sure it was the best night of her life, unless she got mugged…”

“I see her wallet and her watch,” noted Stu,

“must’ve been a Cinderella situation that took the shoe,”

“It was,” recalled Zelda from the foot of her bed, “It was the best night of my life!”

“Do tell,” chided each Giraffe.

“Only if you promise not to laugh.”

Zelda sat up, hair in knots, mascara smeared,

“I was with Prince Babak, the one with the beard.”

“The chubby little Babak, who talks alot?” asked Lenny.

“Or the tall Babak, who runs when he walks?” asked Stu.

“No, no, neither of those!” continued Miss Zephyr, rubbing her nose,

“Babak with a beard, as I was telling you!”

The Giraffe nodded and let her continue her tale,

“I was at his palace when he suggested we go for a sail,

so we took his boat to the middle of the lake

to watch the moon rise, but we had to wait

there were seven swordsmen on a Pirate ship

who started arguing over Potato chips,

Babak knew the Captain and the Captain called to Babak

to put an end to it.

So with a word he ended their absurd little tiff,

and we took off again, lickity-split.

Our boat bobbed up, then plummeted down,

it was at this point the Prince lost his crown.

I reached with both hands into the waves to save it,

but a Mermaid splashed up as if he gave it…

and away she went, so the rest of our time was spent

chasing the mermaid who stole the crown,

bobbing up in the boat, then bobbing back down.

Soon my stomach was spinning and so was my head

Babak gave me a pill to stop the swirl, but instead

it made me giddy and crazed,

one eye was wiggly the other was glazed

So he turned the boat back to the shore

where we danced and we danced then we danced some more.

I’ve never been so happily loopy,

Oh my God, I started calling him Schmoopy,” she groaned then giggled,

“Oh and then the Mermaid returned for more,

wriggling from the Sea to the shore.

She tried to snatch my necklace to go with the crown,

but I took her down

tail and legs becoming entwined

we rolled in the sand for quite a long time.

Finally I got the crown back, good as new,

losing in the scuffle one red shoe.

I limped back to the Prince and handed him the prize,

He was so pleased, he had tears in his eyes.

With glee he swept me off my feet and carried me across the street,

back to the Palace and back to his bed,

the rest of the story has to stay in my head,

for you two Giraffes are too young to know the rest,

but trust me, just trust me….last night was THE BEST!”

“Awww,” disappointed to be left out, each Giraffe moaned with a pout.

“I’m in need of coffee, would one of you be a dear

and fetch me some Starbucks over here?”

*******************The End**************************************************

A twisted tale by Christine Wichman c. June 11, 2017