By: Christine Wichman
Uncategorized

The Masked Baker~ Part Two: The Kiss Off

Blogophilia Week 50.13 Topic:Promised Rose Garden

Hard Bonus (2 points):
Use a song title from Frankie Valli and/or the Four Seasons
(December 63, Oh What a Night)

Easy Bonus (1 Point):
Mention a town or city from North Dakota (Dunseith)

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(The Continuing Saga of The Masked Baker and my response to David Schrader’s latest post** Scroll to bottom if you have not read his yet.)
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Dunseith was a shock, but Norman Reedus joining the Masked Baker was the straw that broke the Camel’s, or rather, Burro’s back.

The Uptight Citizen’s Brigade decided to take matters into their own hands, petitioning Celebrity Wheel of Fortune to cast “Justine La Riene” or they would go on strike. Confident that their demands would be met. They sent a representative with a snazzy rental car to collect the new reality star and bring her back to Hollywood. Sure enough the car broke down 7 hours into the long drive and they had no choice but to stop for the night in Forsyth, Montana.

“Ring Ring” an old fashion phone rang from the nightstand of a sparse room at the Howdy Hotel.

Christine picked up the heavy receiver and accidentally swiped it with her Hot Pink lipstick. “Hello?”

“Is this Justine La Riene?”

“Who wants to know?” Christine was afraid her former agent, the Caftan Cowboy might be on her tail.

“It’s Loretta Swit, I’m the new President of the Uptight Citizen’s Brigade.”

“Hot Lips Houlihan?”

The elderly woman on the other end of the phone cackled, “That’s me alright.”

“Wow, I loved you on M.A.S.H!”

“Thanks Honey, but listen I am calling to talk business. It’s come to my attention the Brigade has really taken you under their wing and I’m not sure I can condone threatening Sony Pictures to land you a part on Wheel.”

“Threats? I thought it was just a petition. I don’t condone any bullying or violence, especially over a guest spot on a Game Show.”

“Didn’t think so Sweetie. Why don’t you come on back to Hollywood and we will take a meeting and get you on the show the old fashion way.”

“Old fashion way? I don’t have to do anything seedy do I?”

Loretta laughed, “No sadly times have changed, I haven’t been on the casting couch since December 1963, Oh what a night!”

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Guesses for Marvin:

Topic: Stormy

Photo: Dahlia

Photo of the Week

Phrases:

  1. Hot Pink
  2. Lipstick
  3. Hot Lips
  4. Kiss Kiss
  5. Pretty in Pink
  6. Muah!
  7. Cupid’s Bow
  8. Loose Lips, sink ships
  9. My lips are sealed
  10. Sealed with a Kiss

**Dave’s Post** This precedes my blog.

Christine blinked. A Daryl Dixon action figure on her dressing room table? Was this Dahlia’s idea of a joke? Norman Reedus was a bone of contention between them. He had taken it upon himself, at HER favorite restaurant, Sotto Mare, to order Rice-A-Roni for the whole group to go along with the cioppino stew… Well, it embarrassed her in front of the maitre d’.

He’d called over the owners, Rich and Laura Azzolino, and they’d reluctantly ok’d it. But ever since she had only been seated at the burro picture table… It was upsetting! “Hey Babe! Good to see ya outside of Frisco. Just on the phone with Dahlia now. Talk later. Oh, good luck tonight. I’m the new Masked Baker. Emeril Lagassé gave me his croissants scratch recipe. Uses real grease. Where can I get some?”

Bursting back out her dressing room door before she could answer.
Christine felt livid. This morning the promised Rose Garden walk in Dunseith’s famed International Peace Garden was cancelled due to winter foraging deer. The Turtle Mountains of North Dakota were NOT the French Riveria! David had tried to sooth her feelings by treating the whole cast to some hand and toe warmers. First things first. Dahlia was just going to have to understand, but Norman had to go. A crushing defeat would actually be kindness, his ego needs a reality check. Then that plaid cashmere caftan-wearing JOKE of a poser producer is going to be out on his sorry behind! She’d give him a burro picture of his own. Smiling happily for the first time today.And Target, show sponsor or not, could never again furnish the week’s wardrobe selection. Looking in the mirror at the hipster Prairie dress with horror.