(a spoof on the typical Hallmark Christmas Movie Format)
Screenplay by Christine Wichman, written December 24, 2017
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The scene opens with an overhead view of a snowy little town at twilight, bustling Christmas shoppers scurry about the overly decorated and twinkling streets in their black North face jackets and red knit ski hats, some carrying presents others holding cups of Starbucks with their mittens. The camera closes in on a rustic brick building with a half wood, half glass door displaying fanciful gold lettering “Bell’s Brewery” it reads in the center of a large wreath of bells.
A young lady with flowing raven curls, wearing a long grey woolen coat and magenta Burberry scarf scurries up to the door pulling a suitcase in one hand and lugging a wrapped gift in the other. She opens the door and enters the elaborate Brewery lobby,
The grey bearded man behind the counter leaps to her assistance;
Mr. Cole: Bella, Honey so good to see you, We thought you weren’t coming till tomorrow! I’ll have to tell your Mother to get your old room ready for tonight!
Bella Cole: Well Dad, about that. I’m actually not sure I can stay in Snowy Bend tonight. My evil boss Mr. Wynters wants me to work in Denver on Christmas so I’m just passing through to bring you and Mom your gift.
Mr. Cole: You can’t work on Christmas! What kind of pharmaceutical needs to be sold on Christmas?
Bella Cole: You’d be surprised Dad, the Holidays are when people need drugs the most.
Just then a tall, dark and baby faced man with just the right amount of scruff enters from the back room wearing a red plaid lumberjack shirt and dark denim jeans. He is carrying a case of beer.
Justin Thyme: Where shall I put the “Rudolph Red Ales” Mr. Cole? (sees beautiful Bella and his eyes light up)
Bella Cole: Justin is that you? I haven’t seen you since our five year high school reunion, and well, that was five years ago! When did you start working for my Dad?
Justin Thyme: I’m only helping out during the Holidays. I’m here to visit my handicapped and aging mother who is trying to sell off our family’s Naturopathic Pharmacy so that she can go into a nursing home full time.
Bella Cole: You’re selling “The Old Sage Pharmacy”? It’s been in your family ever since there was a Snowy Bend!
Mr. Cole: It is truly sad, but Justin’s mother Rosemary is in a bad way. That is why I am helping him out with a job here, they need all the money they can get. Do you know how expensive Holistic Nursing homes are?
Bella is distracted by Justin’s good looks and rushes to his side, she hands him her business card.
Bella Cole: I work for the biggest Pharmaceutical company in the country, I am sure my Boss will have some ideas for your place. Call me sometime and we can talk.
Mr. Cole: Bella aren’t you staying for Dinner?
Bella Cole: (Hands gift to her father) No Dad, I really have to get on the road, before the big snow storm blows through.
Just then a blustery and noisy wind blows a pack of ice and snow against the glass on the front door with a loud thud!
Bella gasps as she see’s nothing but Ice and snow covering the glass.
Justin Thyme: Looks like we are Snowed in!
Mr. Cole: No one is going anywhere tonight!
Mr. Cole: Bella just call up that city slicker boss of yours and tell ‘em you are gonna be snowed in with your family for Christmas and that is final!
Bella Cole: Fine, fine Dad. (Bella pulls a glistening gold i phone 8 from her Chanel bag, there is barely enough time for the phone to have actually rung before she begins…) Hey Jonathan, I am afraid I’m snowed in and can’t make it to Denver tonight. (nods) Uh huh, well, I am really sorry. (Frowns and bites her lip) I know, I know….
(Justin and Mr. Cole are eagerly eavesdropping, furrowing their brows and intermittently shaking their heads)
Bella Cole: (Puts phone down) Okay I hope you are both happy now. I don’t think my boss is too happy…
Justin Thyme: Well, your safety comes first. I would think a “Boss” would understand that.
Bella Cole: Not that it’s any of your business, but my boss cares for my safety a great deal.
Justin Thyme: Oh so he is more than your Boss, I take it?
Bella Cole: Like I said, it’s not really any of your business, and well um…it is just sort of complicated right now. Why I am I telling you any of this? (Bella gets a little snippy)
Mr. Cole: Easy there “Sparky”…
(Bella’s childhood nickname takes her by surprise)
Bella Cole: Sorry Dad. I guess I should go upstairs and see Mom.
(The Cole’s conveniently live upstairs in a lavish brownstone loft)
Bella trudges up the overly decorated Holiday stairs, dragging her suitcase.
Bella Cole: Mom? Mom are you up here?
Mrs. Cole: ( a radiant blonde actress, probably a former Charlie’s Angel, emerges from the kitchen in a Christmas apron with a bit of flour on her cheek) Bella? Is that you? Oh Bella I am so happy to see you!! I was just baking Christmas cookies with Stella the little Russian orphan girl Daddy and I adopted last month.
Bella Cole: You adopted a Russian girl?
Mrs. Cole: Oh darn, I knew I forgot to tell you something important last time you called. Oh well, now you know and here she is. Stella say hello to your big sister Bella. (Mrs. Cole is removing Bella’s coat as she speaks and hanging it up on a cute wrought iron coat rack)
Stella: (an eight year old cute as a button, precocious upstart with plenty of opinions, smiles up at Bella and wins her heart) Hello.
Bella Cole: What are you making there Sis?
Stella: Snickerdoodles and Melted Snowman cupcakes. Wanna try some?
Bella Cole: I sure do. (Bella scarfs down one snickerdoodle in no time)
Mr. Cole: (Enters abruptly addressing his wife) Hey Honey, we are snowed in and I don’t want Justin to have to sleep in the storeroom, it’s just too darn cold down there. Ya think we can put ‘em up on the sofa up here?
Mrs. Cole: Of course we can, we have two pull out beds up here. I’m sure Bella and he won’t mind bunkin’ down together for the night.
Bella Cole: Wait! What? What about my old room Dad? You said Mom could make it up for me?
Mr. Cole: That was before I remembered we adopted little Stella and gave her your old room. Sorry Sparky.
Stella: Yes Papa?
Mr. Cole: Oh not you Sparky…the other Sparky, sorry.
Bella Cole: (Shoots a dirty look toward her parents)
Justin Thyme: (enters from the stairway) Listen I really don’t want to put you folks out, I can just snowshoe home, it’s only ten miles from here.
Mrs. Cole: Nonsense Justin, we don’t have any snowshoes. You are staying put. Besides I am making my famous Christmas Eve Roast. So sit down and have a hot toddy, while Stella and I whip up dinner.
Stella: I make a Roast?
Mrs. Cole: Yes dear, you are my little helper, you help with everything around here now, remember?
Stella: Ok sure Mama, I help with everything.
Mr. Cole: (appears with the Hot toddies) Here you go Bella and Justin. Take a load off, you both work way too hard. Just sit back and relax.
Bella Cole: Thanks Dad.
(DING DING) The downstairs store bell sounds…
Mr. Cole: Our best business is on Christmas Eve, I better get back down there. (Mr. Cole quickly exits with a wink)
(Bella and Justin are conveniently left alone, with alcohol in a cozy setting, within a decent proximity of each other)
Bella Cole: (now wearing a soft red cashmere sweater with plunging neckline and highlighted Hallmark jewelry; the ‘bell’ necklace)
Justin Thyme: Nice necklace
Bella Cole: Oh yeah, I think this is the necklace you gave me the night of the seventh grade Christmas dance isn’t it?
Justin Thyme: (Swigs down his toddy) It is. (shoots Bella a brooding stare that speaks volumes)
Bella Cole: (Bites her lip and twists the necklace nervously) So, how is Nancy?
Justin Thyme: Nancy? We broke up two years ago. Didn’t your Mother tell you?
Bella Cole: Clearly my Mother tells me nothing.
Justin Thyme: So you’re dating your boss huh?
Bella Cole: Well we are not officially dating, but there is something there.
Justin Thyme: I see, well I hope he makes you happy. You deserve to be happy Bella. You were always the girl most likely to succeed, and you have done that. But there isn’t always happiness with success.
Bella Cole: Well I hope you find your Happiness too Justin. I am sorry to hear about your Mom and the Pharmacy.
Justin Thyme: I really would like to run the place myself, but I can’t pay for her care and the cost of the business, so of course she comes first. I want her to have the best.
Bella Cole: (a close up camera shot reveals how touched she is, and her shifty eyes show us she is coming up with a plan) Justin, I am going to make it my New Year’s resolution to find a buyer for your Pharmacy. I have so many connections, I am sure we will find the right person to take over your family business.
Justin Thyme: WE? (he is amused by her choice of words) I like the sound of that, (Justin moves in closer, this is the weak moment they are about to give in to their sentimental Christmas feelings and kiss)
Bella Cole: WAIT, we can’t …..
Justin Thyme: Oh because of your Boss?
Bella Cole: No, because I just ate a Snickerdoodle and aren’t you allergic to peanuts?
Justin Thyme: Yes I am. How did you remember that?
Bella Cole: In seventh grade everything about you was very important to me…
Justin Thyme: …and now?
Bella Cole: (lovingly gazes at Justin and is just about to speak when…)
Stella: Dinner is ready! Come on new Sister and Mr. Justin let’s eat the Roast and be family!!
The Camera pans up from the living room sofa, past the lamp and across a perfectly set table with all the Christmas Eve staples and festive dinnerware as the family begins to sit down and gather for the feast…
Mr. Cole: Justin I am so happy we can share this meal with you. You have been working so hard for me, I feel like a salary isn’t enough. I wish I could give you so much more.
Justin Thyme: Well Sir, I appreciate everything. Really I do. Once we sell our Pharmacy. I may need a new career all together, and the Brewery business is fascinating.
Mrs. Cole: (Slicing off a huge piece of Roast) Here Justin hand me your plate.
Justin Thyme: I don’t suppose this is a good time to tell you I am a vegetarian Mrs. Cole.
Mrs. Cole: (eyes wide, clearly insulted) A What??
Just then the dinner is interrupted by a loud whirring sound and a large thud coming from the roof of the Brewery.
Mr. Cole: What in tarnation is that?
Stella: (excitedly jumping up and down) It’s Santee Claus, Santee Claus is here!!
The entire group races to the roof to witness Bella’s boss Jonathan Wynters landing his helicopter in the snow storm. He exits the chopper and waves off the pilot. Then approaches the group looking un phased, wearing a long expensive woolen coat. Italian leather shoes and a shiny rolex watch. Not a hair out of place.
Jonathan: Sorry to drop in like this, but Bella and I have some work to finish. We have a deadline.
Bella: What? How did you even get through the sleet and winds?
Jonathan: Don’t worry your pretty little head about that. Do you have a place we can work quietly here?
Mr. Cole: It’s Christmas Eve, can’t you give the girl a break?
Bella: Shh, Dad it’s okay, I will make it quick. All of you please go back and finish dinner.
The rest of the group trail off down the stairs, shaking their heads. Bella takes Jonathan into her Dad’s office.
Bella: You couldn’t just give me Christmas?
Jonathan: Well the truth is I missed you Babe, and was looking forward to having you with me this Holiday. Besides if we cut this deal, the company will finally have the means to go Global and that means more business trips abroad and plenty of time together.
Bella: (Clearly not feeling the same about Jonathan, now that she has feelings for Justin) You know Jonathan, I’ve been thinking. I’m not sure I like all this traveling.
Jonathan: Well if you can’t keep up with the company’s new pace, I might have to let you go. There are plenty of girls that would jump at the chance to travel the world with me.
Bella: I have been your top sales person for years now. You would really let me go that easily?
Jonathan: If you help me finish up this deal tonight. I would have enough to give you the severance package you deserve. So if you want out. I won’t stop you. But at least give me this last deal.
Bella: Fine.
(three hours later Mr. Wynter’s helicopter collects him on the roof and he and Bella share one last bittersweet goodbye)
Bella runs down the stairs and back to her family, Stella is sleeping on the floor by the fireplace waiting for Santa.
Mr. and Mrs. Cole have retired to their room and Justin is sitting up alone looking sad with a glass of wine in his hand.
Bella: So I have some news.
Justin Thyme: You are leaving with your Boss? I thought so, (raises his wine glass as if to toast) have a nice life. See you at the twenty year Reunion.
Bella: No, I quit.
Justin Thyme: You quit your job?
Bella: Well I needed to keep my New Year’s Resolution didn’t I?
Justin Thyme: (confused) I’m not following, what Resolution?
Bella and Justin are now sitting closely on the sofa
Bella: With my severance package, I am going to buy the Sage Pharmacy…and if you play your cards right, it will still be your Family business.
Justin Thyme: (no words, just a huge telling grin)
Bella and Justin finally kiss. (a longer kiss, but not too long and no tongue, this is G rated television)
Justin reaches over to turn off the lamp…
Bella: No, please leave the lights on.
The camera pans out into a wider shot of Bella and Justin on the sofa smiling and hugging, then cuts over to “sleeping Stella” who opens one eye and catches one more mushy kiss, she grimaces then covers her eyes with her hands.
the end
This spoof has been brought to you by Christine Wichman c. December 24, 2017
Sleeping Queen Publications 