Many years ago I met a life long friend, Maria. We met while taking Summer writing courses at Oxford University in England. I was thrilled to discover Maria was a Bay Area girl as well, so it was easy to remain friends all these years. Besides sharing an eccentric nature we both shared a love for make believe. So for all the years we’ve known each other we’ve developed a creative habit of making up elaborate back stories and characters for one another, then sending a series of random letters, postcards or cassette tapes back and forth to one another “as these characters”. We’ve covered everything from Regency period spinsters to Vegas Showgirls and Fifties Housewives.
Yesterday I received a letter from Maria, as “Big Nana Lydia” the envelope was addressed to “Bunny Overland”
I have yet to reply to Maria’s Letter, or rather…Big Nana Lydia’s Letter. SO I thought I would take this opportunity and to creatively write my response…but first here is what Maria/Lydia wrote “Bunny” in her letter…
***This next section is complete fiction, in hand written letter form by Maria Hons c. 2014
Dearest Bunny,
I declare, I’m exhausted, just exhausted, since Dorthea’s weddin’ and I do not mind sayin’ so.
Paw Paw always used to chide me for complainin’ so, but he’ll just have to forgive me cuz I just have t’
say I am sufferin’ the fatigue!!
But, the weddin’ turned out just fine. Lester made it through his vows without stammerin’ too terribly bad.
Dorthea had him practice, believe you me, and even sat him right down to watch The King’s Speech twice for inspiration.
And Little Lydia was highly consolable, following that bite from a Bottlefly at the children’s table. Of course, I cautioned Big Lydia on her methods of calmin’ that child, which always seem to involve candy or chips or somethin’ of this nature. I just can’t tolerate it…
I almost forgot! As you requested,
BIG NANA LYDIA’s RECIPE FOR CHINESE CHEWS, do you recall, Bunny the time Porter Caldwell sneaked off with a tray of the things and turned absolutely green!!!
Big Nana Lydia
CHINESE CHEWS
2 eggs well beaten
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup cake flour
1tsp baking powder
1/4 cup salt
1 cup finely chopped dates
1 cup finely chopped pecans
Beat eggs and add to sugar, sift all dry ingredients together and add to sugar mixture.
Line six inch pan with waxed paper and spread dough out in it to a depth of 1/2 an inch.
Bake at 350 Degrees for 40 minutes. Makes 20 Bars.
*******
Side note: I’m not sure this is a real recipe so DO NOT try this at home. lol
Here is my reply… Again, complete fiction written by Christine Wichman c. 2014
Bunny Sue Overland
Dearest Lydia,
I’m just pleased as punch that the weddin’ went so well. I always questioned what Dorthea saw in that poor Lester Boots, but it sounds like she has turned him into a right Prince for herself. I must say I attempted your recipe for the Chinese Chews but Donald and the boys were creating such a stir around the house that day, what with the Big Game on the Television and all. I had to scrap two batches. Not sure what I botched up, but they ended up tasting like “Horses Hooves” according to Champ and Rookie.
Oh say did I tell you my Gloribelle made the cheerleadin’ squad? Now she can go to all the games with her big brothers and give me peace in this house. She can even do that thing…oh what’s it called again? Oh yeah “A Pyramid of Cheerleaders.”
She’s always got to be the one in the bottom middle, on account of her large bone structure, but they assure me it’s perfectly safe. It took me three days and four extra yards of fabric to sew her special uniform, but I didn’t want to discourage her from joining the squad on account of that uncertain weight gain, especially since last year when she was nothin’ but skin and bone I caught her up in the grandstand with Bessie Owen’s boy necking in a shared leather jacket.
I hate to say it, but I’m gonna have to sign off now and get supper started. Don caught four trout in Henchmen’s creek Saturday and they will smell to high heaven if I don’t cook ’em tonight. The damn Telephone is ringing off the hook and these kids are laying around the playroom watching American Bandstand. I tell you Lydia, what’s the use of having teenagers when they can’t be of some use around the house. They just don’t answer when duty calls.
It makes me sick, I tell you. Oh before I forget here’s that recipe for Don’s Vodka Gimlet.
1 oz lime juice
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 tsp powdered sugar
Stir all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.
************
Side note: this IS a real recipe, so go ahead and drink all you want! 😉
Sleeping Queen Publications 